Oh, I justed finished watching Jerry McGuire with Tom Cruise. I had a really good thought provoking morning did alittle journaling and watched this movie and it came acrossed alittle different this time. {Disclaimer: This is pre-jerk era for Tom Cruise and none of his bad personal views are presented in this movie, it is a good family flick; and as much as I try... I must admit I am still a Tom Cruise (the actor) fan}
I have seen this movie many times, but today as I watched it, it touched me differently. The importance of relationships, doing the right thing and standing up for what you believe is running through the entire movie. The experience of having God change your whole life with a glimpse of something and then a long period of uncomfortable, uncontrollable despise for the way things are and then an unquenchable desire to change immediately is played out so poetically. (Okay, I am very visual and apply things wierd but... this is how I see it, watch it for yourself and you may find something touching for yourself). This is one of the few "reality" and moral movies that shows marriage and family in a positive light, and that is also very important.
Well, that should temp you to go rent this or movie on demand it for those who are blessed with that feature. Watch the movie with an sense of anticipation to learn something, look for christian values being played out in really life without alot of attention drawn to them. Look at the other aspects of life played out in not so pleasant ways, look how things do change for the good, and not because of any human intervention, it was only after the hearts changed.
Hope you get as much out of it as I did... :)
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Tired and dragging in body, mind and spirit
This is a bit whiny, but it is a journal page of the last few months and it is FROM MY HEART.
Wow, it has been a long journey. For months stress level has been up, understanding has been at an all time low and moods, well... they have been like the weather, unpredictable and a little destructive in selected areas. Clinging to the most comforting thing I know, my reading which always points me to scripture. Which usually results in very open and honest conversations with God, the only one who can solve, comfort, guide and correct problems.
To add to the suspense and agony of all the unclear things of life, my health problems are rearing their ugly head and oh, I am really not looking forward to circling this lap again. I have talked to my nurse buddy and we have prayed, tried the natural remedies but it is becoming evident that I am going to have to get over my thing with the doctors and go have some things checked. I just get so irritated that the only thing they want to do is the medication route and well those that know me know that has not worked out so well, and I have more problems thanks to side effects from medications. So, my apprehension to doctor's visits are valid and warranted but they affect my anxiety, which affects my adrenaline which causes other problems and before to long I am hurting, my heart is racing, my head is spinning, my emotions are all over the place and it is not a great place to be. It is hard for someone who does not have these issues to understand and it is just so frustrating which I do not handle well either.
Exercising was my rescue, you can't huff, puff and cry and anytime I really exert myself getting air is a battle. I have to really THINK!! (Yes, the brain does work, I can control it!!! sometimes) about breathing full, regenerating breathes. Which is a calming exercise and really helps clear my brain, listening to my carefully selected playlist helps too. But, now it is getting harder and harder to get a good workout, 15 minutes of a slightly motivated walk (not a run, a walk- one foot on the ground at all times) about 2 1/2 laps a song, not that fast of a pace and I feel like I have walked for miles, my foot starts swelling and my leg goes numb (which really gets my anxiety going) I am very emotional until the pain and aching comes, so I know that the nerves are still functioning. It is so frustrating.. I have searched the internet, I have had friend send me information from medical journals and none of it is AHA!!! this is.... and this is what we do for it. My doctor and I have an agreement, he will diagnois anything we can not make go away and we will just grin when my complaints could be the D. word, and we will try to find another reason, if we can't I will just hobble on and exercise more. Well this has worked for about the last year, I have only been to see him once, I think, and except for my little heart issue, which we able to make some really progress with and found a simple treatment for, I have been doing well. In 8 months I have only had one "episode" and it was quickly ended with better diet, a little rest and slowing down the pace of life for awhile. But, for the last 2 months, nothing that worked before is working now and the acheyness is becoming a bit more intense and the pain/numbness is making walking in the grocery store difficult. Without exercise I am all out of condition; emotions, mind, and body.
I finally decided to take action and schedule a doctor's appointment for next week. I always giggle when I think about praying for these appointments, because How do you pray for this, "??Please lead the doctor to find the problem, BUT!!! PLEASE do not let it be anything serious, (I mean I know, God is in control, but I also know that being completely cured is not part of the plan, we have been on this path too long (over 20 years, oh.. I just dated myself..:)
And and have seen glimpses of God's plan for this part of my life, I have been able to minister to others because of this, but I am honestly not thinking about anyone but me right now.. :( (Yes, a little trust problem is evident, and yes if I would stay off the throne and quite wrestling with God so much my hip probably would not hurt as much as it does but, hey I am not even pretending to think I am perfect, and when I do not feel good, I am SOOOOO whiny and negative, Satan keeps his distance.)
I just want one of the three areas to be "normal and healthy", Spiritually I am fine, but the fleshy part of my heart really needs some work. If that would balance then it could help the mind become positive and healthy again and the end of the mind/spirit struggle would give me energy and a better attitude to deal with the body issues.
Wow, it has been a long journey. For months stress level has been up, understanding has been at an all time low and moods, well... they have been like the weather, unpredictable and a little destructive in selected areas. Clinging to the most comforting thing I know, my reading which always points me to scripture. Which usually results in very open and honest conversations with God, the only one who can solve, comfort, guide and correct problems.
To add to the suspense and agony of all the unclear things of life, my health problems are rearing their ugly head and oh, I am really not looking forward to circling this lap again. I have talked to my nurse buddy and we have prayed, tried the natural remedies but it is becoming evident that I am going to have to get over my thing with the doctors and go have some things checked. I just get so irritated that the only thing they want to do is the medication route and well those that know me know that has not worked out so well, and I have more problems thanks to side effects from medications. So, my apprehension to doctor's visits are valid and warranted but they affect my anxiety, which affects my adrenaline which causes other problems and before to long I am hurting, my heart is racing, my head is spinning, my emotions are all over the place and it is not a great place to be. It is hard for someone who does not have these issues to understand and it is just so frustrating which I do not handle well either.
Exercising was my rescue, you can't huff, puff and cry and anytime I really exert myself getting air is a battle. I have to really THINK!! (Yes, the brain does work, I can control it!!! sometimes) about breathing full, regenerating breathes. Which is a calming exercise and really helps clear my brain, listening to my carefully selected playlist helps too. But, now it is getting harder and harder to get a good workout, 15 minutes of a slightly motivated walk (not a run, a walk- one foot on the ground at all times) about 2 1/2 laps a song, not that fast of a pace and I feel like I have walked for miles, my foot starts swelling and my leg goes numb (which really gets my anxiety going) I am very emotional until the pain and aching comes, so I know that the nerves are still functioning. It is so frustrating.. I have searched the internet, I have had friend send me information from medical journals and none of it is AHA!!! this is.... and this is what we do for it. My doctor and I have an agreement, he will diagnois anything we can not make go away and we will just grin when my complaints could be the D. word, and we will try to find another reason, if we can't I will just hobble on and exercise more. Well this has worked for about the last year, I have only been to see him once, I think, and except for my little heart issue, which we able to make some really progress with and found a simple treatment for, I have been doing well. In 8 months I have only had one "episode" and it was quickly ended with better diet, a little rest and slowing down the pace of life for awhile. But, for the last 2 months, nothing that worked before is working now and the acheyness is becoming a bit more intense and the pain/numbness is making walking in the grocery store difficult. Without exercise I am all out of condition; emotions, mind, and body.
I finally decided to take action and schedule a doctor's appointment for next week. I always giggle when I think about praying for these appointments, because How do you pray for this, "??Please lead the doctor to find the problem, BUT!!! PLEASE do not let it be anything serious, (I mean I know, God is in control, but I also know that being completely cured is not part of the plan, we have been on this path too long (over 20 years, oh.. I just dated myself..:)
And and have seen glimpses of God's plan for this part of my life, I have been able to minister to others because of this, but I am honestly not thinking about anyone but me right now.. :( (Yes, a little trust problem is evident, and yes if I would stay off the throne and quite wrestling with God so much my hip probably would not hurt as much as it does but, hey I am not even pretending to think I am perfect, and when I do not feel good, I am SOOOOO whiny and negative, Satan keeps his distance.)
I just want one of the three areas to be "normal and healthy", Spiritually I am fine, but the fleshy part of my heart really needs some work. If that would balance then it could help the mind become positive and healthy again and the end of the mind/spirit struggle would give me energy and a better attitude to deal with the body issues.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Purpose, Pathways and Peace
Lately all the buzz is about our Purpose in life, God's plan for our individual purpose and how to fulfill those. Well I found a book that has it pretty well explain. Pathway to Purpose for women by Katie Brazelton, maps out a step by step plan that includes the scripture it is based on and gives Katie's personal story of how she acknowledged the challenge and was able to successful cross the "stepping stone" onto the next step in the plan to fulfilling her purpose.
One of the truly life altering truths in the book, the difference between being and doing which God has been showing me in many different ways over the last several years but I had not been able to wrap my brain around the other lessons because of the terminology and traditions that they threatened but this presentation of that truth did the trick, it set me free just like the Bible says, the Truth will set you free. Being is existing, I am saved, I am forgiven, state of being. Doing is more "humanly accepting" it relates to active involvement and actually participating or achieving something. Witnessing and showing kindness are examples of things we do but Love is a state of being. Wow!!! that sent ripples across my little golden pond of tradition and previously learned behaviors. <<Wonder if that is part of the past that has to be left behind inorder to press onto the abundance God has??>> :)
This book was really good in presenting these truths I have studied and heard before, accepted them and tried to accomplish them, but never understood the fundamental idea of being and not trying to do things for God, His blessings, to find His will, to atone for my stupidity and sinful attitudes. The whole grace and work theology has plagued me for years. But, I have prayed and continued to ask for the wisdom (many of my friends have prayed for me, for wisdom, discernment, healthy mind and attitude) and God has been faithful and keeps showing me, it is okay, He can handle my attitude, my questions, my fears, my failures, even the messes I make trying to rely on people to show me the way to my purpose. It is not a license to not serve, but we are not responsible for working to figure out some secret, hidden plan that God has for us to fulfill. He will guide us step by step and although our path is very close to someone elses our steps may be very different. The scenery on our path will be different, the meaning of scripture in our life will be a little different; not the truth of the scripture but the application. But to find anything, to get the answers, to find the peace we only need one thing! (remember the song in church, One way... Jesus!)
Our all in all, the only thing we should want, our one and true passion. Oh but this path is not comfortable, it is not easy, it is not quick, but it is Perfect, Holy, Pure and Sure. God has you in His hand and will go before you to guide you and follow you to protect you. When God is for you, who can be against you that will prosper? You were purchased, you are sealed in Christ, just like Noah's ark, God sealed that door and God opened the door when it was time.
Check it out, it is going to the top of my favorites list
Pathway to Purpose for Women by Katie Brazelton ISBN:0-310-25649-6
http://www.pathwaytopurpose.com
One of the truly life altering truths in the book, the difference between being and doing which God has been showing me in many different ways over the last several years but I had not been able to wrap my brain around the other lessons because of the terminology and traditions that they threatened but this presentation of that truth did the trick, it set me free just like the Bible says, the Truth will set you free. Being is existing, I am saved, I am forgiven, state of being. Doing is more "humanly accepting" it relates to active involvement and actually participating or achieving something. Witnessing and showing kindness are examples of things we do but Love is a state of being. Wow!!! that sent ripples across my little golden pond of tradition and previously learned behaviors. <<Wonder if that is part of the past that has to be left behind inorder to press onto the abundance God has??>> :)
This book was really good in presenting these truths I have studied and heard before, accepted them and tried to accomplish them, but never understood the fundamental idea of being and not trying to do things for God, His blessings, to find His will, to atone for my stupidity and sinful attitudes. The whole grace and work theology has plagued me for years. But, I have prayed and continued to ask for the wisdom (many of my friends have prayed for me, for wisdom, discernment, healthy mind and attitude) and God has been faithful and keeps showing me, it is okay, He can handle my attitude, my questions, my fears, my failures, even the messes I make trying to rely on people to show me the way to my purpose. It is not a license to not serve, but we are not responsible for working to figure out some secret, hidden plan that God has for us to fulfill. He will guide us step by step and although our path is very close to someone elses our steps may be very different. The scenery on our path will be different, the meaning of scripture in our life will be a little different; not the truth of the scripture but the application. But to find anything, to get the answers, to find the peace we only need one thing! (remember the song in church, One way... Jesus!)
Our all in all, the only thing we should want, our one and true passion. Oh but this path is not comfortable, it is not easy, it is not quick, but it is Perfect, Holy, Pure and Sure. God has you in His hand and will go before you to guide you and follow you to protect you. When God is for you, who can be against you that will prosper? You were purchased, you are sealed in Christ, just like Noah's ark, God sealed that door and God opened the door when it was time.
Check it out, it is going to the top of my favorites list
Pathway to Purpose for Women by Katie Brazelton ISBN:0-310-25649-6
http://www.pathwaytopurpose.com
Monday, July 14, 2008
A man's walk with the Lord on the Web
A new friend of mine and her husband have just launched a beautiful website that is a testimony and his way of serving the Lord. He has taught and preached some, has been hurt some and has sought the Lord through studying his Bible, alot. His story has something for everyone and is a great "ministry". It will help those who have the desire to serve but are "unqualified" and "uncredentialed".
Please check their site out,
here is the link: http://www.micaihspeaks.info/
Please check their site out,
here is the link: http://www.micaihspeaks.info/
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