Well, it has been a while since I posted. Life keeps going and I have had my hands full, head down and heart broken and eyes swollen from tears alot..but I took my lumps, accepted my responsibility and took my burdens to the ONLY ONE who really understands, and CAN AND WILL CHANGE THINGS (ie MY THINKING and MY HEART) and lift me up and cleanse my wounds... My PERSONAL Lord and Savior. I say it, I mean it and I live it! I care to the core for almost everyone ( I am human, those really scarry, mean and violent people give me a challenge but I still pray for them and beg God to give me a pass and send someone else to help them).
I have been busy trying to repair some relationships and sadly had to finally realize that some people just see things so differently absense is the only hope for a future. I have had some triumphs too, I finally graduated with my Assoicates Degree!, a personal goal of mine and a HUGE learning experience that stretched my mind, body and SPIRIT to the limits. and totally showed me the verse "When I am weak He is strong" and that I was not alone He was a my right hand. Even when everyone was against me and nothing was "FAIR and Just" I stayed on the high ground and keep doing what I felt was right even though it brought more trouble and attacks. I claimed my promises from that big book all my friends quote and I hold more precious that gold, THE BIBLE! and I started digging deep and found my groove and life took a new direction.
It has not been all sunshine and roses, but with each tear and each heartache it has sured my footing and strengthened my connection. I had to start thinking different and seeing it is not about all those in my life that I value and tried to emilate, my life is not my own on so many levels and my purpose is my compass and directs my steps. Who is your daddy"???? is a popular saying and "Who do you love" and answering these questions let you see things in a bare bones way. He, She or THAT which angers you, CONTROLS you. If you have control you have responsibilities and Implied acceptance of those under their control. Our hearts Control our minds, but often our Brain thinks it should be in charge and those the "INTERNAL" stuggle so many books write about.. the needs are the same, but our Brain has a flaw the heart does not have, their is no identity or Identity in the heart.. the BRAIN is all about status, identity appearance and superiority. The smartest people are usually the most miserable because they cannot do the simple things and the "human" or "Emotional" directed things that are so evident to be the clear the solution to their problems, because it does not make sense to them to have to bow down, they want to BE IN CONTROL.
These are so great visuals to the thoughts and beliefs I hold and things that have made the last several months "good" even though "things" and circumstances have stunk worse than maneuer. I have gone weeks without talking or seeing anyone that was "happy" or "working toward anything positive". So many days I have sat in tears and sheer dread everytime my phone rang, as it brought another issue or person that was "determined to do what they wanted regardless of how it was going to affect others". Many are trying to "pay back or avoid paying for things that are just unfortunate and have taken far too much time and energy and are so outside of the Phillipians 4:8 and so easy to see the "WHY nothing is going their way, but under their definition of intelligent comments and "justifiable" actions I was rendered completely helpless and silenced. Check these out on my facebook page: or use this link.. http://www.facebook.com/dot.wiggins.92?v=box_3
I have angered so many people and taken so much "CRAPP" since my health has become such an issue. "You need to slow down and quit doing so much for other people, you need to take care of yourself" has been the reoccurring comment I get everyday from someone. I am just as human and selfish as the next person, I just execute alot of self control and THINK before I speak and act on an impulse or feeling but I lost it a few times and just spewed what I was thinking.. ut oh....
"Ok, I will stop doing for those that ask me to help and want me around and want my opinion and information if I can give them your number and you will do it for me..." I didn't mean for it to turn into a huge thing it was supposed to be like everyone elses "sacracism or ugly comment that is followed by, "I am just saying..." I mean I have rights to say whatever I want and do whatever I want too and I am tired of always being voted the wrong or unintelligent person. If I can do something and it does not cost alot of money (cause I don't have any) and is not unethical, unmoral, or unkind then I am in, AND if the person asks me to do it I am there before I hang up the phone.. I believe in the Golden Rule and try to really live by that.. if I need help and ask someone for assistance I would want them to help me, with a cheerful and accepting heart. And be caring enough to honestly point out things that were making problems or things I could do to improve things.
If this is how you think and work and want to join with others this way, please go over to Bright Minds Helping Hands Brightmindshelpinghandsandholyhearts and join us, we are also a group on Facebook, look for us there. As times get more crazy and the world returns to the Pagan, Helenistic, Humanistic ways that lead to the fall of the Romans and Greeks we are going to need to ban together and support each other in the "good works".
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