Uturn in the Medical Saga 27596

This is a Fibonaci number drawing. It is a drawing, number sequence that the creator,

leonardo Fibonaci, based on a study of natural occuring numbers that he discovered by examining nature and the sequences of things like the number of seeds in a pine cone. This image is a perfect picture of life sometimes, very uniform yet completely complex with turns, that sometimes head right back to where you started and it comes close but does not quite intersect the prior experience. I think this is a good picture to go along with Jeremiah 29:11 and the verse "My ways are not your ways" God never varies from His plan, but it appears U turns and circles are part of the plan. I think I am following in Abraham's footprints sometimes, my map and his look alot alike.

In this episode of Medical Sage 27596…. Going back to check a diagnosis given 15 years ago that may not be correct! (oh goody, )

We are making a U turn in my medical Journey. We got to the end of a long and treacherous path, we had a crossroad in front of us and at the follow up visit yesterday to receive the dreaded medication, the doctor announces “We need to make sure it is not narcolepsy,” Great, that is not a fun test (Up and down trying to take naps all day). I had it years ago but it was inconclusive, but I was also on medication and drank A LOT!! Of caffeine and NO water, (Soda and Ice Tea have water in it, right??? And it tasted better)

A lot of this comes down to word choices, fatigue or tiredness and not pushing when they said “It is hard to believe someone of your age that works fulltime is in pain and fatigued so much with NOTHING wrong with them”. Silly me. . I looked up Fatigue in the dictionary is “Weariness or exertion” Tired is exhausted by exertion, FATIGUED, or sleepy. Sounds to me they are the same, interchangeable since Fatigue is in the definition of tired. Sleepiness would imply that you get sleep, right? I nap, but never feel rested until I have gone 3 or 4 days without a good night sleep and crash. But No! they are different. This part is hysterical!!! “I should have explained more about how I was feeling”! HA HA HA HA!!!!

Why didn’t I think of arguing my case, and remove any doubt in there minds. Sound like to me they were telling me “There is nothing wrong with you”. Even if there is something wrong, there were bills to pay, people to feed, I worked full-time was kind of committed to be there and doing my job. Yeah there were a lot of sick days, but I got through it. Quality suffered, attitude and personality took the brunt of the not feeling well. I discovered if I went and laid down when I was tired I would be down for days, but if I stayed “active” I would get a second wind and by taking physical breaks I could stay up and do more, so that is what I did. I filled my days with “activity” stayed on my feet as much as possible, and drank lots of caffeine to stay alert and ate chocolate to be “Happy”. Who is going to continue to go to doctors who can’t find anything. Doubt me and I back down until I can prove my point. I will not be doubted and called a liar or in medical terms a “Faker or Hypochondriac”. I know there is something not right, but if they can’t find it, we will wait and praise God it is not “significant enough” for them to find. I waited and muttled through until something new came up, would go. Nothing. So I waited until other people noticed or I could take something tangible to them.

I choose my words carefully, I do my research so I know what I am talking about. I stated my case, was denied, I conceded and followed their recommendations and waited for things to improve. They didn’t dealt with it, worked the things I can control and waited What happened to conciseness. I am fatigued! I cannot do much, I am achey, weak (cannot life 50 pounds without struggling, makes buying dog food in bulk a comedy routine). {I think I am switching my major again to communications, ha ha}

I must admit the anger and frustration rose up when she told me that plan. I was not a happy camper. I have been praying had friends pray, felt like the wisdom and discernment to get over it, be a big girl and just take the medication and get on with life and now more testing we still are not sure. However, the wisdom kicked in and a touch of humor came from somewhere and it was… Okay.

Kind of feel like porky pig, “On with the show!, Tune in next time for Medical Sage of 27596.

The Journey to Journey--- A Walk of Faith...

I love the song, "Life is A Highway" by Bon Jovi :) ..

Life is a series of journeys, and sometimes you journey to journey to another place to start, you guessed it a journey. Kind of the Abraham story, sometimes we think we know what we heard God say, but we don't listen to the very details and get the full meaning and change His plan and it causes us to have to walk a little farther for us to realize what God intended for us to do. Well, I have been going through the journey to journey with some "interruptions" and now I can see some of the plan unfold as I draw out the map of where I have been and I still can't see where I am going in God's plan but it is getting narrowed down, by crossing out all the places I am not going again, since they took me off the "straightened path" God had told me to walk on.

Freewill, Fear, Anxiety, (Stupidity), Flesh (S_E_L_F) and a few other things have complicated the journey and made some really special times not seem so special while I was on the path, but now looking back they shine like jewels. It is hard to remember while we are walking people may not know why we are walking around in circles or jumping on and off the path, or just standing there looking up into the sky.. But, we know why!! God told us to, and He is with us, sometimes we dance, sometimes He carries us, sometimes He has to stop us in our tracks and correct us or purify us. Our walk is different from some, but should all line up with scripture, but to see that it is lining up people need to know where we started out and that we are in contact with God.

The journey has been long and there have been many side trips to the dessert, I have had many Psalms 23 breaks. I have a few mountain top discussions and a burning bush or two to satisfy my need for confirmation. I have had things prunned from my life, and things added into it and woven by God's hand. I have lost many footprints on my beach and God sent new ones to fill the void. He has helped me keep the memories alive by sharing the jewel that person shared with me to help or encourage others.

I do not know where the path will lead from day to day, or why it goes like it does, I pray, I hear I follow. He bring thing into my life, my mind, my heart that I do not always appreciate, like, want or understand, but I know that they are from Him and I try to do what I feel Him telling me to do. (IF only He would give complete instructions WITH the expected results and the proper actions to me and the other person things would be so much smoother, and we could get on with the Praising and Worshiping of the Plan being fullfilled)

I cannot see the path and many times it is step here, now get in the truck and drive here, go here, read this, call this person, rest and pray about this, --Cook dinner, do laundry, go to bed. Get up the next morning and all the dots form a line, when I get out the "map" and plot where I walked today, sometimes it shows where I will go tomorrow sometimes it doesn't (or I won't know until I plug it into my GPS, ha ha).

I talk alot and sometimes it makes no sense to anyone but me, but eventually it all is revealed. Some day I can draw out the map of my life and it will be an awesome picture to go along with the soundtrack of all the songs that tell the story. All steps were taken in faith, because I surely cannot see why, how or when all this is going to make sense, be of any use to anyone or see what the plan was, but as sure as I am typing this, I KNOW HE IS GOD, HE SAVED MY SOUL FOR A REASON AND I WILL WAIT TOO SEE WHAT IT IS. I want to know now, but he keeps telling me, "You cannot understand it now, just love and believe and I will continue the work I started". I have to remember, I was not there when he lit the sun and moon and speckled the sky with the stars, He Did it alone, He alone is capable of more than I can imagine and He will make his plan work out and reveal it in His timing. So I cling to my life verse: (kind of marching orders: (emphasis mine)

Jeremiah 29:11-14 9NAS " For I know the plans I have for you." declares the LORD, "Plans for welfare and not calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. And I will be found by You, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes ...... (Remember He spoke the stars into the sky, and they have not fallen yet!) :)