What do you want from Me????

Have you ever felt overwhelmed, alone, a tad bitter and completely exhausted trying to figure out what God wanted you to do, what he wanted from you. It does not have to be such a drudgery and heart wrenching experience. God does not try to hide his will from us, but he does wait for us to seek it, then He reveals it to us. Our perspective, our attitude and our thinking needs to change and this can be a great freeing experience. (This is the end of wisdom, and the start of my take from a conversation with God, if you want to skip to the solution scroll down to the Scriptures and allow God to take you own your own search, if you want to share in my journey continue, and see how God worked in me and then gave me these scriptures to live out as "instructions for peace and fullfillment)

Look at the last sentence, see all the ours in the statement if each our equals an hour of time, add them up and it is 8 hours!!!--we are working for ourselves! With so much "me, me, me" there is no room for anyone, so we feel alone, abandoned and unappreciated. With so much effort into me, then you have the things you have to do: laundry, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids and husband.

It is easy to see how we get overwhelmed,unfullfilled and bitter that we "see" others "having it all" and we are doing all this stuff we "think" we are supposed to do and then we do not have time to do the things we want to do and it is just not fair! Finally, we get to a point of utter frustration and we cry out to God, "What am I doing wrong that I deserve to be miserable, I want to do your will, I want your blessings and to fullfill my purpose, What do you want from me" and He answers!!! "I am glad you asked, next time do not wait so long, and do not WORK so hard and let me help you. If you would read your bible (My love note to you, the instruction manual) and talk to ME!! more we can avoid this heart wrenching times. I love you and have good things planned for you, better than you could plan for yourself. Do you ever listen to the prayers you say to me, or are they just words on your index cards? (OUCH!!!)

Get your cards out and let me talk to you about your purpose. Let's start at the source of the problem, YOUR plans and my Plans are not the same, Your thinking and My thinking are not the same and if you are trying to please me, Whose thinking has to be used???

1 Corinthians 2:11 For who among men knows the thought of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us.

I have given you life, I have given you My spirit to lead you, to help you so you can understand my will and my word. Your life is not what is here on this earth, but in all things Praise and rejoice for it has been given to you.

Scriptures: "Instructions for peace and fullfillment"
Matthew 6:25 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 28 So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lillies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say unto you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 29 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is and tomorrow is thrown into the ovens, will He not much more clothe you, O your of little faith?

You do not have to worry, you do not have to provide and make your way. Allow me to provide for you like I do the lillies of the valley, they do not WORK to be pretty and plentiful, they allow me to do the Work in them, and they reap the benefit. How much more can I work in you, if you will trust me and allow me to.

You want some reward, fullfillment promise of results (results that WILL materialize!!!)

Proverbs 16:20 He who heeds the word wisely will find good, and whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he.

Proverbs 30:5 Every word of God is pure, He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him

phillipians 4:7 The peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 3:20 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us...

Romans 8:28-31 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, he also called; those he called; he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

Psalm 17:15 As for me, I will continue beholding your face in righteousness; I shall be fully satisfied when I awake beholding your form.

Nehemiah 8:10 Be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold.

Hebrews 4:3 We who have believed do enter that rest.

1 Corinthians 14:33 God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.

Okay I here you, but what am I to do when I am worried and do not feel peace???

Hebrew 4:16 Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive Mercy and find Grace to help us in our time of need.

Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from ME, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Colors and symbols to encourage us and remind us of Christ

** *Play, theword is alive, on the playlist player to the right, click on the > key until the title shows then arrow down to it.

When you think of colors or symbols of christianity, you probably think of red, black, and white, a cross, the wordless book (red,white,black,green,blue and gold). But, actually all of creation can be considered a symbol of Christ and a reminder of him. When we look at the flowers, plants, trees, animals and humans we should just be in awe, that the creator of all this, and the solar system KNOWS us, our name, how many hairs are on our head, our natural hair color (for me that is big, as my color keeps changing), he knows the imperfections in our skin that no one else sees, he know how many freekles we have, he even knows our true weight (thank goodness He keeps a secret!!). In our homeschool we have studied creation, and we are working on plants. We are learning about the plants that are mentioned in the bible so we can really appreciate the meaning of the scripture and we can see "proof" of the significance and relevance of the bible today. That is the biggest excuse I hear for people not to be "convinced" of God, is there is not enough compailing evidence and proof. Well, I do not know what you need as proof. The fact that man cannot even engineer grass yet, we tried and failed at cloning (copying the life he made and reproducing it), the fact that we cannot even name and identify all the living creatures.

The colors that stand out to me and what I use as their significance and the places they are seen. Truly let the scriptures that remind us over and over, "Lo, I am with you". God being omniscient and knowing us, knew we needed "signs and sightings of things of him" so he gave us those in colors and in nature. He even gave us knowledge and creativity to make rememberances out of the words.

Blue-"Hope"-We see it in the sky; in our bodies (look at your hands, arms, legs, and neck; see the veins. What color are they? When are you without your body? He tells us, Never alone, I will always be with you. I am at hand. You can even feel, the veins press your finger against your arm or neck, feel that swiggly feeling, that is Christ!!! (the blood that was shed to preserve your life).

Red-"Love, Restoration, Christ"-we see it in the flowers like poppies, roses, impatience, vinca's. At sunset, it is like Christ saying good night, see you in the morning. When you get angry or embarrassed, it is a reminder that He still loves you. Christ's blood that was shed on the cross for those who sinned and will sin. (us). Can be seen in a rose petal, many are shaped like a droplet.

Green-"rest, growth,life" I love spring when everything that was brown and crispy, "springs to life", the first signs we see. I think of the thick green grass of pastures like in Psalms 23, the green herbs that we love so much, the green plants that we put in the ground and soon will bring us food that we do not have to get from Wal-mart which puts green $$$$ in our wallets!!!, I think of growth, when we spend time in prayer and in studying the word, we make time for nature and resting in God.

Purple "Grace, Royalty, prosperity" deepness, like Christ's love, If you have ever seen fresh blood drawn and placed in the refrigerator, it is a very deep violet color, sometime it looks purple and I think about Christ's blood layered over me, that gives me Grace (favor) with the Father who sees the perfect, living blood of his perfect son. I love packages with purple ribbons, it reminds us that package is surely given freely because we have favor with the person that is giving it. Grapes-purple, full of sweet juice, Jesus taught many lessons with grapes. Many churches use grape juice in communion to signify his blood, which makes me think of my wedding in which we had communion to start our marriage off with Christ and with the love and grace and each time after that when we take communion it is very special to us that we took it on our first day as husband and wife. I think of lavender flowers, they have such a wonderful refreshing, and calming aroma and having grace and forgiveness is much like taking a deep breathe and inhaling this wonderful aroma.

Circles and Gold- Purity, preciousness, completeness, unending- I love the fact that our wedding rings are "old fashion" gold circular bands. Complete circles to remind us that on our wedding day Christ made the convenant with us, for us that our marriage was closed and secured. We were one and there was no end of one of us and beginning to the other, we complete each other. If one falls short the other meets them to complete the circle, that is what keeps a marriage together and strong. Purity rings are gold and circular too, purity is such an important thing for people we need a reminder to keep ourselves pure until we commit to the other "Christ ordained relationship, marriage". I think of the sun as precious and complete, we need the sun for heat, and light and energy, plants need the sun, it completes our hope from yesterday that it would rise again, and just as in scripture it sets and another day, another gift from God, that he is keeping us here one more day.

Roses-"Love, tenderness, encouragement" they come in a rainbow of colors and each one is symbolic of many things. I like to look at the structure of a rose, soft, rounded flowerhead, even the petals are significant, individuals that come together to form and amazing shape. Strong wide stem, of glorious green, to symbolize life and growth, nutrients flow from the root to the flowerhead allowing for enjoyment and rememberance. Even the thorns on a rose are significant, they are pointed and cause for reluctance of grabbing the stem, they can be removed with a skilled and careful hand, much like God does with sin and strongholds in our life, he prunes the thorns of so that we can be more approachable and be enjoyed more. The thorns are also a reminder of the Fall, they were part of the curse God gave Adam for the disobedience in the garden. The sin caused them to be separated from God and the perfect place He created for them, just like the thorn separates the admirer from the beautiful feel and smell of the rose. Also the thorn is a reminder of the crucifition of Christ, when they used a crown of thorns to mock Christ, the thorns pricked and cut his head and brow, just and they do when we press them into our fingers when we grasp the stem of the rose. Sometimes life hurts alittle, but it is worth the experience of the wonderful experience of being close to the Creator and Healer. Prayer can have some of the thorns removed so that it does not hurt as bad, but He can heal the pain. He he will make the memory of the moment of healing as pleasant as the aroma of the rose.

Remembering-Memoralizing-Missing A Friend

This week is Larry Todd Cassidy week, it has been a year and it does not seem like it, he was such a big part of our lives we still look for his truck or to hear him trumping through the yard. But the greatest comfort is knowing where he is, he is in heaven with God, his savior. I keep thinking about the memorial service, the place was packed--standing room only and everyone had a story how Larry touched them. People from the hospital, who only knew him a few days were touched by him and his family. There were people that only knew him as a maintenance guy that came in the store and spoke so nice, and caring. He was diligent about his work, he cared about his job and the end result. He talked about his family and friends all the time. He was genuine, that is what everyone says about him. And he loved God, everyone knew, and he was not a bible verse in every sentence, reading his bible on breaks or at lunch, but everyone knew where he stood, with God. It was so great, it was like an old-fashion church service there were tributes and stories shared about Larry, but for the most part it was just remembering him and how he touched our lives.

Yesterday I got to thinking about all the ways our lives changed when he went to be with the Lord. Have we changed things because of him? I have, he had a saying "No boohoo boxing" meaning no complaining or crying (for me that is an hourly thing). We would talk in the yard and it was like "why cry or complain about things it is not going to change them", you just have to get tough and focus on the situation at hand and do what you can, the best you can and not worry about the rest. And laughing was big with him, (even when it was not that funny) but laughing releases tension he would say and when things are gray and you can't do anything else, laugh. And I have tried to do that this year, since I can't have our chats anymore, a "No boohoo boxing" campaign was launched and I try to laugh more.

I think about how Larry and I met the first time, we really talked. It brings a laugh of embarassment if nothing else, but it is a chuckle. Our sons played soccer together acrossed in the Yak's soccerfields, and Larry would bring his BIG, brown boxer, butch, with him to practice. (I am afraid of big dogs, especially ones that look mean) well I was walking across the field and I saw this brown boxer off his leash and running at me. I did what I usually do when faced with an uncomfortable anxious moment (I panicked). I jumped up on the hood of a car (thank goodness it was an older car, my husband would have killed me if it had dented or cracked the hood) Larry almost doubled over in pain from laughing at me. Turns out this fear inflicting muscular boxer would not hurt a dead fly, he was running to lick and get petted, he turned out to be the sweetest dog you could ever know. Every time he saw me after that, it became an inside joke, "been jumping any lately".

The other thing Larry was famous for was doing things and helping people out, that was his hobby. There was always a project or looking for a project and whenever someone needed something Larry was first one on the scene. Generous is a slight reference to his giving nature. We are in this house because of him, he kept telling us we ought to move in when our lease was up in the other house (2 doors down). When we found out the person that was in here was a renter, we contacted our friends that owned it and asked them about the lease and it was working out that the current tenant was not going to renew and we could move in. Larry would come home after work and load up stuff in his little white toyota and with one other person with a van we moved our whole house with a few loads. Anything mechanical Larry could do. If he saw something on sale or just thought about you when he was shopping he would pick thing up and bring them to you. If he had two of something he gave one away. We have several things we use daily that came from his generousity and care.

We are better for knowing him and his family and we are committed to making his legacy of "doing the right thing and caring about people" as a priority as our daily memorial to him. We want people to remember our friend and the spirit he led his life with until the very end. His youngest son will alway hear us talk about His dad and doing things the right way, so he can learn what his dad was like, and to continue his training with his older two children. It is how we keep things feeling as though he were still here with us. So far, we are keeping each other on the happy side of things and "getting it done", making the kids work and not "play, play, play" as he would always say, work is good for you. The song freebird, yellow roses, the beep beep on trucks backing up, the engine of an old car racing, all things we see and hear and think of Larry.

Looking forward to the day we can sit around a picnic table in heaven and share a laugh with him again. Until then, "No boohoo boxing and just take care of people and doing our part, if everyone would do something, everything will work out".