I have had an "Ah ha" moment, feelings are usually not well founded enough to be the basis for action alone. At least for me, I need to take a moment and BREATH, and then think for a minute is this how I am "feeling" or is this a logical conclusion before I act. Someone will say something less than kind and I automatically go into panic mode, scrambling to react to their disapproval, disappointment, and try to "fix" the problem before it ruins the relationship or activity. Oh, the exhaustion and the fear of always bringing about negative reactions in people. The guilt of being the source of dislike and displeasure of someone you care about and on such a frequent basis it is better to stay at a distance for their protection.
I hear that familiar RUMBLE and a voice say, "You know that guilt is not from ME!! You see them react so differently to others and you are convinced that it is YOU. Oh, how silly that you have that much control and force in someone elses life, and especially in a godly persons life. Do you think you are as powerful as the devil??? That you are able to "Make" someone behave differently and that they are powerless to change their reactions and behavior. Well, when I finally get them to discuss it, that is what they tell me, "YOU.... did this or that, You...... just force me to be ... (and SO What!!! People say the darnedest things, people will blame you if you let them, especially when they KNOW you will accept it and not turn it into a debate,) (ha ha, you debate or answer back, everyone elses opinion is more important and more accurate then yours or at least to them and you do not want to make things worse). Who designed you? Who are you serving? What does your heart say? What does the bible say? Do you really think you are of so little benefit and of so much destruction? You must dig down deep and Know what God says, use some of those scriptures that you have stored in that brain of yours. Use the verse you quote all the time and claim as your Life verse why do you think I revealed that to you!! "You are fearfully (not your definition!! but MINE, I want you to be what I created you to be, respectful, reverent, humble; I created you like me, you are only slightly less than me but I have covered your flaws along with your sins,) and Wonderfully made (just like creation, you are unique (that is not a bad thing) you are marvelous and precious to me and who were you created to please me or others?) Serving does not mean making them happy all the time, and sometimes you do make people VERY VERY disappointed and angry and make them really think about things, but that is not always a bad thing. Moses served the Children of Israel, and he rarely made them "happy" and they were frequently angry or disappointed in Him, but He was doing as I lead Him and He knew it, because he talked to me regularly and came to me when he was doubting or troubled.
It is as if I can hear God say, "They are not your purpose, they do not control your value and worth nor do the results of the work you do as long as you are doing as I lead you to do, you acknowledge me in all that you do and you allow me "to work through you" and you do not try to do it yourself and then run to me to clean up your mess, I am going to work all things for the good. Even if you do intend or unintentional make something bad, I am going to work it for a blessing. When you feel this way, 1 Peter 5:7 ring any bells???? Bring me your cares (hurts, fears, mess ups, worries, burdens) for I care about you." And Remember Mercy is new every morning. (Listen to Mercy Came Running by Phillips, Craig & Dean on the playlist player)
Oh!!!! sometimes mind over matter is just plain funny :) I have decided I am going to try Heart over matter. That is where the scripture is anyway, and I know I do not "intend" for these negative reactions to occur and that I truly want to do the right thing and to be a blessing and a friend, wife, mother that is a good influence and a desire and not a source of pain and disappointment or viewed as costing them from receiving the best. Phillipians 4:8,9 takes on a whole visual now, And If I "let" God Control things and follow Him and Know I am doing what He has lead me to do, then I am doing the right thing and good is going to come, but in God's Way and in His timing and the Glory and Praise is going to come in through my behaving and loving in the situations to show this firm BELIEF and Extra ordinary FAITH and Trust in God doing what He says.
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