Wow!! what an emotional and spiritual journey this has been!. Years of pruning and purifying, tears and fears are all being molded into an incredible vessel. The potter illustration is my favorite, I always saw my story as the pot that was cracked and worped and used to repair other vessels but not really a complete vessel made for an independent purpose.
{{{Amazing Love should play about now.. and Mercy Came running too..}}
Man was I wrong! and God is faithful to answer us and heal us when we ask Him. Until then He just places things in our lives to get our attention and to comfort us and draw us to Him. He is great about bring people into my life that have no idea about the questions, fears and wounds standing before them and they offer a verse or an encouragement that is simply Divine intervention, and without a doubt I know that God has Spoken!! I kind of feal like Israel sometimes...
Well, God is at work in my educational pursuits and my personal growth in major ways. I am more fear and anxiety than witt and knowledge sometimes and I am as cautious and inquizitive as a toddler who is just learning to walk. {Wobble, Wobble, step hard... goofy and entertaining to watch as they discover things}. Well, back in the early days before having Charles, my desire was to be a Nurse, and then reality of the cost of school and the difficulty of working fulltime and going to school, close friends illness and recovery and just fear of the unknown caused me to postpone my pursuit of nursing. I worked in the medical field as a billing clerk and coder and patient care rep in the urgent care centers to get me close to the action and allow me to do some of the work I wanted to do, but provided the safety net I also wanted. All the while I still had the desire for more, but did not know how to get it. Life is funny how things just happen, right??? NO!!! God has designed everything from the way your hair is in the morning to the crazy craving you have at 3:00 pm!. Every job I had, at some point the questions came-- "why aren't you nursing you are clearly supposed to be in the nursing profession".. HMMMM!
Well, time went on... Life continued.. Charles came... and I stopped progressing. The desire was still there but medical issues and family responsibilities kept me busy. Finally in 2000 Chris got his big shot at his career and we were moving to North Carolina! {{{{WHAT!!!!!----My life, my career is here????}}}}} well God has been patient and loving with me since then and slowly worked things for the good of our family. I started school, saw the path things were going well and then in true hollywood fashion---BAMM!!!! things unraveled fast!!! I was blacking out and dizzy as a ding bat.. terrible migraine for 3 days with no relief, that endup putting me in the hospital. Missed alot of school but made it up. Neurologist ran a bunch of tests in the hospital and found the reasons for my headaches that had plagued me for years. Things were looking up!. Then 6 months later I was withdrawing from the program to begin to Homeschool. {{{{WHat!! ME TEACH!!! you have got to be kidding!.. (oops! Sorry Lord I know you are omnipetient and know the plans you have, but do you remember what I am capable of???, oh you do.. Okay I will do this, but.....}}}}}} Well, Five years pass.. struggles with reading bring us the our knees several times, Humbleness is not an issue.. knowledge, wisdom and logistics (money and time) are, but God saw us through the pursuit of help and lead us to testing, diagnosis and PUBLIC SCHOOL!!! {{{UH.... Are you sure this is the best idea...and MIDDLE SCHOOL TO BOOT????}}}} I tested the idea to everyone that would listen, I protested, argued, threatened, begged, pleaded and finally submitted and God prevailed... this was the best year ever!!! Our struggling reader can read!!! He improved 2 grade levels, His writing skills are on grade level and he is a joy to be around!! Still does not have a prision record, no bad habits, and NO GIRL FRIEND :)!. {{AHH... okay God I am getting the hint..}}}
My schooling took several up and down around and around and many sleepless nights asking "Why am I doing this"???? "Is this really what I am called to do??" Doors flung open and information came rushing to me that I was close but on the wrong path. We straighten things out and Tomorrow is the first step on the new path, back in to the Medical Assisting program that I wanted so much back in 2002, what I was doing when God showed us we need to care for our son, we obeyed and now God is working things to bring me to the things I need to be equipped to do that which I was designed to do. {I SEE!!!, but know that I may not always SEE the point and the direction but that is why I have God on my Right hand, (the same hand I use to take pulses, draw blood and record information with). In order to get into the classes in the fall semester I need to take Anatomy and Physiology over again because it has been so long. The instructor I have this summer is the same instructor I had my first semester when I took the higher level A&P (nursing level) class in 2001, I struggled so much but passed with a D, (would have had to retake it to get credit for either nursing or Medical assisting, so I chose to take the lower level course and made a B in that class).
God's timing is perfect. The Medical Assisting field has undergone alot of changes, the program has more opportunities now and I am so excited to be back at the door that I was at 13 years ago, about to embark on my journey to becoming a Professional helper with credentials and opportunities to help those that need and want it. The experience I have from working in various medical offices, being a patient in just about every medical discipline, receiving dreaded and scarry diagnosis with little or no compassion or explanation and having to research and cope with the prognosis alone will be enhancements to my education and make me a better caregiver with enhanced knowledge and expanded resources that will make someone elses experience much better and I will have more time to show the love of Jesus, the Physician that I work under :).
Romans 8:28 "And We KNOW that all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"
Jeremiah 29:11,12 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
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