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Friday, March 20, 2009

Uturn in the Medical Saga 27596

This is a Fibonaci number drawing. It is a drawing, number sequence that the creator,
leonardo Fibonaci, based on a study of natural occuring numbers that he discovered by examining nature and the sequences of things like the number of seeds in a pine cone. This image is a perfect picture of life sometimes, very uniform yet completely complex with turns, that sometimes head right back to where you started and it comes close but does not quite intersect the prior experience. I think this is a good picture to go along with Jeremiah 29:11 and the verse "My ways are not your ways" God never varies from His plan, but it appears U turns and circles are part of the plan. I think I am following in Abraham's footprints sometimes, my map and his look alot alike.

In this episode of Medical Sage 27596…. Going back to check a diagnosis given 15 years ago that may not be correct! (oh goody, )

We are making a U turn in my medical Journey. We got to the end of a long and treacherous path, we had a crossroad in front of us and at the follow up visit yesterday to receive the dreaded medication, the doctor announces “We need to make sure it is not narcolepsy,” Great, that is not a fun test (Up and down trying to take naps all day). I had it years ago but it was inconclusive, but I was also on medication and drank A LOT!! Of caffeine and NO water, (Soda and Ice Tea have water in it, right??? And it tasted better)

A lot of this comes down to word choices, fatigue or tiredness and not pushing when they said “It is hard to believe someone of your age that works fulltime is in pain and fatigued so much with NOTHING wrong with them”. Silly me. . I looked up Fatigue in the dictionary is “Weariness or exertion” Tired is exhausted by exertion, FATIGUED, or sleepy. Sounds to me they are the same, interchangeable since Fatigue is in the definition of tired. Sleepiness would imply that you get sleep, right? I nap, but never feel rested until I have gone 3 or 4 days without a good night sleep and crash. But No! they are different. This part is hysterical!!! “I should have explained more about how I was feeling”! HA HA HA HA!!!!

Why didn’t I think of arguing my case, and remove any doubt in there minds. Sound like to me they were telling me “There is nothing wrong with you”. Even if there is something wrong, there were bills to pay, people to feed, I worked full-time was kind of committed to be there and doing my job. Yeah there were a lot of sick days, but I got through it. Quality suffered, attitude and personality took the brunt of the not feeling well. I discovered if I went and laid down when I was tired I would be down for days, but if I stayed “active” I would get a second wind and by taking physical breaks I could stay up and do more, so that is what I did. I filled my days with “activity” stayed on my feet as much as possible, and drank lots of caffeine to stay alert and ate chocolate to be “Happy”. Who is going to continue to go to doctors who can’t find anything. Doubt me and I back down until I can prove my point. I will not be doubted and called a liar or in medical terms a “Faker or Hypochondriac”. I know there is something not right, but if they can’t find it, we will wait and praise God it is not “significant enough” for them to find. I waited and muttled through until something new came up, would go. Nothing. So I waited until other people noticed or I could take something tangible to them.

I choose my words carefully, I do my research so I know what I am talking about. I stated my case, was denied, I conceded and followed their recommendations and waited for things to improve. They didn’t dealt with it, worked the things I can control and waited What happened to conciseness. I am fatigued! I cannot do much, I am achey, weak (cannot life 50 pounds without struggling, makes buying dog food in bulk a comedy routine). {I think I am switching my major again to communications, ha ha}

I must admit the anger and frustration rose up when she told me that plan. I was not a happy camper. I have been praying had friends pray, felt like the wisdom and discernment to get over it, be a big girl and just take the medication and get on with life and now more testing we still are not sure. However, the wisdom kicked in and a touch of humor came from somewhere and it was… Okay.

Kind of feel like porky pig, “On with the show!, Tune in next time for Medical Sage of 27596.

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