Well the last few weeks have been interesting to say the least and I was forced to realize today that I am a bit hard on myself.
I have lamented for months about different issues, pains and setbacks and just majorly been in a bad mood. Try to put on the happy face, but it just does not work. Truth is I AM NOT Happy, I am Mad, Sad, Frustrated and want a huge pity party, but too tired to even let it get started so I try to avoid people but then the social creature in me gets lonely and well it is just akward...
Well, I have had some really funny comments lately..
At school I had an exam the day I returned from being off for two days, TOTALLY fogot about the exam, could have cried a river, but I was a big girl, besides it was open notebook, I did not have my notes printed but I had my laptop. (HA HA funny story, forgot to charge it the night before) 5 minutes into the exam and my laptop dies. qbjcytr@@@@ oh, well. Here goes nothing I will answer from memory (oh that makes my belly hurt, lately I barely remember what i said 5 minutes ago) anyway most of the questions were straight forward, so I was confident I passed it but irritated it was not going to be a better grade. All the way home I pondered calling the instructor, but decided against it. Finally I decided it would be crazy to forfeit my grade over pride so I emailed him and told him what had happened and asked if I made less than a B if I could come in with my notes and fix my exam. I got no response. Went to class and He handed back the papers, I was sweating bullets, opened my paper and there was a little note "Good memory" I got a 97. Whoa hoo!!! A classmate asked me how I did, when I told her, she said the famous catch phrase "You really have no faith in yourself and worry too much". I was like UGGGGHHHH!!
I was looking at my counseling and Interview notes and realized that most of the exercises and techniques are in this blog and that I use them to handle stress and process stressful or complex problems. Exercises like Music therapy, Art therapy (bubble therapy, ha ha ) exercise, Letter writing, relaxation techniques, empty chair discussions, role playing, journaling. Well, I can truly disclose to my future clients that I KNOW this techniques work and I do have experience executing them.
Lastly, I have struggled all week with the pending visit for result tomorrow. I am a firm believer in not asking questions you are not prepared for the answers to and well I just really do not want to end my cruise, but the time has come. I have been going over the worst case and the ideal results, knowing neither is going to be what I hear, and then repeating it realizing that is more realistic. Today in class we discussed a techique doing the exact same exercise, but writing it down. So I wrote down my responses, there is something amazing about actually seeing the words written, your brain goes, and SO WHAT!!! WHAT IS THAT GOING TO CHANGE THAT REALLY MATTERS????? WON"T THIS HELP SOME PEOPLE UNDERSTAND???? WON"T THIS HELP YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON AND WHAT YOU NEED TO DO???
HMMMMMM..... I just giggled and thought, I really hope all this stressing and worrying stops tomorrow :) I have decided I am so visual I am going to start writing down my worries, frustrations, complaints, fears ect.. and put them on the strings of ballons and release them so I can "SEE" my cares go to where they belong.. In God's hands. 1 Peter 5:7 maybe if they float up in the sky I will leave them alone and quit taking them back and trying to handle them. One can always hope. {LOL}
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